shorterexcerpts:

peterwknox:

(via blakeley)

This is great. A few of my favorite requirements:

-must love pinball and not play ping pong

-3 out of your 5 favorite movies should be John Hughes films

-must have read complete works of Jane Austen

-must be willing to pay for dinner at least once a week at a Zagat-rated restaurant after proper research and scouting of restaurant

-must own more than 3 items from ?The North Face? jacket line but no more than 5

-name must not begin with an R, a J, or a B (Js are negotiable; Rs are not. Bs should consider that if they treat a cat nicely, it will respond accordingly; but if you scare it by approaching too fast, of course it will attack)

-must not be opposed to wicker furniture

-must have all limbs, no quads (not biased, just poor past experience)

I was THIS close to applying but then…

-must not be more than one to five stops away from Carroll Gardens F train in either direction

I’m not willing to move. See ya.

Worse, stuff like this somehow encourages more women like this whackadoo to move to NYC.  Though mainly they come because they suffer delusions of Carrie Bradshow-eur