whiteleatherpalace:

Apparently I have yet to notice my romantic surroundings during my morning commute.  This morning I was standing awkwardly close to you young, hippie couple whom found it necessary to make out during my entire morning commute.  They nuzzled their scruffy, acne ridden faces together and suckled on each other chapped lips…all the while I fought to keep my Pillsbury toaster strudel in my stomach.  Is one of you dying?  Is this your last commute together? Is this a scene out of the modern day “Love Story”?   It’s never attractive people that make out, it’s always the most homely people…and you know why?  Because attractive people didn’t lost their virginity at 27 years of age to a fellow fugly person who bathes with bark and baking soda; no attractive people lost their virginity at the normal age of 16 in the back of their parent’s Camry like the rest of us…hence they have nothing to prove.  And I’m not saying its okay for attractive people to make out on the train, its not, its inappropriate and no one wants to see it…but I am saying that the offenders usually are physically hideous. My message this morning, if I see you making out on the subway, I’m going to pee on you..because it’s equally offensive.